When Parents Themselves Resort to Oppression
Islam has given parents a status that is not hidden from anyone. The Quran repeatedly commands kindness, respect, obedience, and service to them. It is even said not to say "Uff" to parents, not to raise your voice in front of them, and to always treat them gently. All this is true, right, and obligatory for every Muslim.
But the question is:
If these same parents oppress their children, are unjust, beat them, insult them, humiliate them in front of everyone, mentally and emotionally torture them, and kick them out of the house, is it still a religious duty to remain silent?
It is easy to turn away from this question, but it is necessary to face it, because this problem arises daily in thousands of homes.
Islam is not just about the rights of parents, but Islam is a complete system of justice, balance, and mercy. The Quran clearly says that Allah commands justice. Justice means that everyone gets their due, and no one is oppressed. This principle also applies to parents.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ clearly stated that be just among your children. If someone is given more and someone is given less, someone is repeatedly humiliated and someone is pampered, then this is not training but open oppression. This attitude turns the home into a place of torment instead of a place of peace.
To say "We are elders, no one should say anything to us," or the sentence "I did not listen to my father, why should I listen to you?" This is all ego, arrogance, and ignorant thinking, not the teaching of Islam. In Islam, greatness is not by age, but by justice, piety, and morality. The person who crushes the feelings of his children in the intoxication of his greatness is actually trampling on his own character.
Insulting children, beating them, humiliating them in front of everyone, repeatedly making them feel that they are nothing, they are failures, they are a burden - all these words and behaviors wound more than a sword. Physical wounds heal, but wounds to the heart do not heal for a lifetime. Such training does not produce good children, nor a healthy society.
Islam does not say to keep suffering oppression and keep your mouth shut. There is a principle of Hadith:
There is no obedience to any creature in disobedience to the Creator.
If the attitude of parents is based on oppression, injustice, and sin, then blind obedience to them is not permissible, but rudeness, abusive language, and insolence are still forbidden.
Now the real question is:
What should the oppressed children do in such a situation?
Children should first of all be patient and sensible, and not be rude in their emotions, because this does not solve the problem but makes it worse. With wisdom, in solitude, while remaining within the bounds of respect, express your pain. If things don't work out, involve a wise, religious, and influential elder of the family so that a way out for reform can be found.
If, despite this, the violence continues, beating, humiliation, mental torture, and danger to life and honor arise, then in such a situation protecting oneself is neither a sin nor disobedience. Islam considers human life, honor, and mental health to be a great blessing. In such a situation, saving oneself from the environment of oppression becomes not a compulsion but a necessity.
Oppressed children should remember that Allah hears the sigh of the oppressed, even if it is the children. The status of parents is very high, but this status is not a license for oppression.
Islam teaches us:
Respect parents, but do not consider oppression as fate.
Silently breaking down is not religiosity, but standing up for the truth with wisdom is the real awareness.
This topic is bitter, but it is the truth. And although the truth is bitter, it also gives healing.
Faqeer Qadri: Muhammad Fida Al-Mustafa Qadri
PG Research Scholar: Darul Huda Islamic University, Kerala