In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Written by: Muhammad Masood Rahmani
Today, the heart of every conscious and compassionate Muslim is weeping tears of blood. When we see on social media and around us that the innocent daughters of the Ummah are crossing the threshold of their homes and eloping for the sake of so-called love, and issuing statements against their own elderly parents by making videos, it brings the heart to the mouth.
But the question arises: Who is responsible for this entire tragedy? Who should be blamed?
If we look within ourselves, we and our society are the ones fueling this fire.
1. Dowry-trading parents: The biggest culprits
The first and biggest reason for this corruption is those parents who have turned the pure Sunnah of Nikah into a business and an auction.
After educating their son or teaching him a skill, parents start dreaming that now a dowry of 1 million, 1.5 million, or 2 million will come with the daughter-in-law.
Just a few days ago, when I asked a virtuous colleague of mine (who is a teacher by profession and is 29-30 years old), "Why haven't you married yet?" his eyes welled up. He said:
"I want to perform Nikah with simplicity according to the Sunnah, but my parents are adamant about millions of rupees in dowry and demands, because of which the girl's family backs off, and I am helpless before my parents."
Alas, a hundred times alas! Where young people want to follow the Sunnah, their own parents become a wall in their path.
Remember! Those parents who today break the back of a girl's poor father by bidding on their son, tomorrow those same parents will lie on their beds in old age and weep that the daughter-in-law does not serve them and the son does not care. How can that daughter-in-law serve from her heart when you humiliated and disgraced her elderly father for a few hundred thousand? Where the foundation of a relationship is laid on the greed for money, how can love and service be expected?
2. Unnecessary delays and customs in weddings
The second major tragedy is the undue delay in the marriage of girls. Boys and girls reach the age of marriage, but matches are hung up only because:
"The dowry items are not ready yet."
"Where will so much gold and money come from to show off to the community at the wedding?"
"The boy does not have a government job or his own large house."
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said that when a righteous and virtuous proposal comes, do not delay, otherwise, fitna and corruption will spread on earth. Today, that same fitna has reached our homes. When Halal Nikah is made difficult, expensive, and shackled by conditions, then Haram will become easy.
3. A Compassionate Appeal to the naive sisters and daughters of the Ummah
My innocent and immature-minded sisters!
For the sake of a few days of false and temporary emotion-based so-called "social media love," do not turn your parents' 20-25 years of love, service, and honor into dust in a single moment. That father who sacrificed the sweat and blood of his youth for your upbringing, that mother who sacrificed her nights' sleep for your single pain, do not make a funeral of their white hair and honor.
The person who persuades you to leave the threshold of your elderly parents and abandon your modesty to elope can never be truly loyal to you. The outcome of such decisions is nothing but disgrace, regret, and destruction. Trust in your Lord, hold onto patience; Allah Almighty never leaves those who are patient alone and grants the best reward.
Now is the time to wake up!
If we want our sisters and daughters to remain safe and our society not to be further destroyed, we must do three things immediately:
Kick the greed of dowry: Do not sell your sons, stop making demands from the girl's family.
Easy Nikah according to Sunnah: Make simplicity a custom so that even the poorest father can send off his daughter with dignity.
Give daughters respect and confidence at home: Provide them with religious and moral training and maintain a friendly connection with them to protect them from the deception of social media.
May Allah Almighty grant our society salvation from this curse and protect the honor and dignity of our mothers, sisters, and daughters. Ameen.