(5) Essay
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
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From the pen of Mahmoodulbari
Mahmoodulbari342@gmail.com 8292552391
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: Wife - The Greatest Blessing or the Greatest Trial
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Alhamdulillah! We praise Him, seek His help, and ask for His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils of our own souls and from the wickedness of our deeds. Whomever Allah guides, there is none to misguide him, and whomever He leaves astray, there is none to guide him.
And I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, alone without any partners, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger.
Respected Readers;
Allah, the Lord of Majesty, has created human life for peace and tranquility, and the greatest foundation of this peace is the "relationship between husband and wife." That is why Allah Almighty has said in the Quran:
﴿وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً﴾
(Ar-Room: 21)
"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy."
Wife - The Greatest Blessing;
The Holy Prophet ﷺ said:
"الدنيا متاع وخير متاعها المرأة الصالحة"
(Muslim)
"The world is a provision, and the best provision of the world is a righteous wife."
A righteous wife is a comfort for her husband, a helper in his religion, a protector of his honor and dignity, and the best trainer of his children. It has been said about a righteous wife that she is a means of success in this world and the hereafter for her husband.
Hazrat Umar bin Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) used to say:
"A righteous wife is the greatest comfort in life for her husband, because she gives peace in the house and creates strength in religion."
Incidents from the lives of the Companions (RA)
Hazrat Umar's (RA) Patience;
A person came to Hazrat Umar (RA) and said: "O Ameer-ul-Momineen! My wife is foul-mouthed." Hazrat Umar (RA) said: "A wife is a comfort for you, she cooks your food, and raises your children. If she ever says something harsh, then bear it."
This is the teaching of patience and gratitude.
Hazrat Abu Darda (RA) and Hazrat Umm al-Darda (RA)
Umm al-Darda (RA) reminded her husband that along with worship, the rights of the wife are also important. The Holy Prophet ﷺ confirmed this. This is the guidance of a righteous wife.
Hazrat Ali (RA) and Hazrat Fatima (RA)
Hazrat Fatima (RA) used to do the housework, her hands would get blistered, but she would not complain. This is a high example of patience and contentment with her husband.
Wife - The Greatest Trial
But if a wife is foul-mouthed, heedless of religion, and materialistic, then she becomes the greatest trial for her husband. It is clearly stated in the Quran:
﴿إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ﴾
(At-Taghabun: 14)
"Indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them."
Here, enmity does not mean that she will kill and fight, but rather the enmity is that she will remove him from the path of religion, make her husband heedless of the remembrance of Allah, and force him to sin.
The Holy Prophet ﷺ said:
"إنما الدنيا حلوة خضرة، وإن الله مستخلفكم فيها، فينظر كيف تعملون، فاتقوا الدنيا واتقوا النساء"
(Muslim)
"The world is sweet and green (alluring to the heart), Allah Almighty will see how you act in it, so beware of the world and beware of the trial of women."
The Patience of Hazrat Ayub (AS)
His wife sometimes showed weakness, but Ayub (AS) remained patient. Allah finally bestowed mercy on both of them.
The Wives of Hazrat Nuh (AS) and Hazrat Lut (AS)
The Quran has made the wives of both of them an example, saying that they remained disbelievers even while living with their husbands. This shows that a bad wife is a trial for her husband.
Hazrat Umar's (RA) Saying
He used to say: "A bad wife is the greatest calamity for a man in this world."
Signs of a Righteous Wife:
Observes prayers and fasting
Protects the honor and dignity of her husband
Is content with halal (lawful) earnings
Reminds her husband of religion
Signs of a Bad Wife:
Is foul-mouthed
Pushes her husband towards haram (unlawful) things
Entangles him in worldly demands
Makes him heedless of religion
Sayings of the Salaf Saliheen (Righteous Predecessors)
Imam Hasan Basri (RA) says: "A righteous wife is a helper in her husband's religion."
An elder said: "If a wife is righteous, then the house is a garden of paradise, and if she is bad, then the house is a piece of hell."
The Real Standard
Now the question is whether a wife is a blessing or a trial?
If she is a helper to her husband in religion → then she is the greatest blessing.
If she makes him forget the hereafter by chasing after the world → then she is the greatest trial.
If she is of good character → then she is a guarantee of paradise.
If she is foul-mouthed and heedless of religion → then she is opening the door to hell.
That is why the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So give preference to the religious one, so that you may be successful."
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Conclusion and Advice
My dear brothers!
If a wife is righteous, then it is a great blessing from Allah, and if she is heedless of religion, then it is the greatest trial for a person.
Therefore, every Muslim should give preference to religion at the time of marriage, and after marriage, he should reform and train his wife. Because a righteous wife not only makes the house a paradise but also makes her husband successful in the hereafter.
May Allah Almighty grant all of us the blessing of righteous wives and righteous families, and if ever a wife or children become a trial, then may He grant us the ability to remain steadfast on religion with patience and wisdom. Amen.