O you who worship the world and play with self-respect, relationships are created by my Lord, not by you.

*O you who worship the world and play with self-respect, relationships are made by my Lord, not you.*

*Part Two*

My headline itself will be making you understand everything, but the story is very tearful. In our society, marriage is no longer a relationship, it has become an examination in which a girl's smile, silence, voice, gait, complexion, age, manners, and excessive obedience are assessed, and if she falls short on even one criterion, she is ruthlessly rejected, without thinking that behind this one decision, there is a lively girl and two broken parents standing. This is not a fiction, it is a true picture of the conscience of our society. I read it today and cried a lot, and my heart started asking questions non-stop, and just a few days ago I wrote an article titled *Only the boy should go to see the girl, not the whole family*. A true picture of the same is in front of you, which is why it is named Part Two. A lady doctor has described it as follows:

I am Dr. Fatima. Yesterday, I was on duty when an emergency case of suicide was brought to the hospital. The patient was a girl named *Muntaha*. In my eight-year career and past life, I had never seen such a beautiful, dignified, and well-mannered girl. She was unconscious and her parents had brought her to the hospital. MashaAllah, they were noble, dignified, and serious people, but at that moment their condition was heart-wrenching. One step of their daughter had shaken their whole world. I don't know why this scene wounded my heart deeply. Muntaha was immediately taken to the operating theater. The operation was successful and she was transferred to the ward. When the parents were told that there was no danger now, her father went out to distribute something among the poor as a thanksgiving. I called Muntaha's mother to my office. There was silence for a few moments, then the mother spoke, and I kept listening. She told me that Muntaha had done *Textile Engineering*. After her education, her parents, like every parent, thought of settling their daughter down. When she was asked about her choice, she left the decision to her parents like Eastern girls. The first proposal came, and after eating and drinking, the girl was examined as if she were an exhibit. Someone asked her to walk, someone to speak, someone asked for tea made by her hands. The tea was drunk, permission was taken, and after a few days, they refused without any reason. This was the first rejection of Muntaha's life. Her heart was broken, but her parents encouraged her and said, "Daughter, this happens to everyone."

The second time, another family came. They also drank tea, made them wait for three days, and then refused, saying that the girl did not know how to entertain guests, because instead of picking up the boy's mother's tea from the table and handing it to her, she had placed it on the table like ordinary guests. This time, not only Muntaha, but her parents were also broken from the inside, but they still persevered. The third time, Muntaha effaced herself for the family that was coming. As soon as the guest women sat down, she took off their shoes herself, washed their hands while sitting there, and then served tea. A week later, the answer came that your daughter is possessed by jinn, otherwise why would anyone serve guests who have come for the first time so much? Thus, more than a hundred proposals came in eight years, each time a new flaw, a new excuse, and a means of rejection was found and she was rejected.

Yesterday, the family that came approved of everything, but in the end, they refused, saying that the girl was too old, and then, showing favor, said that if you are very helpless, then we can accept Muntaha for our forty-eight-year-old son, who has his own shop. Hearing this, Muntaha's mother burst into tears and could only say that you are also a mother, how can any mother hear these words in front of strangers?

That night, Muntaha kept crying all day clinging to her mother's chest, saying that my age has increased while reaching the standards of these people, and then, who knows when, she decided to leave the world. She used to say that my ominous shadow will also make my younger sister old on the same threshold. Meanwhile, news came that Muntaha had regained consciousness. The mother ran to the ward. Muntaha first hugged her mother, then hugged her father and said sobbing, "Papa, daughters are a burden, aren't they? Why did you save me? Let me die, my ominous shadow would have left this house and Gudiya would have gotten married." The father kept shedding tears silently. Seeing the situation getting out of control, I gave Muntaha a sedative injection and brought the parents to the office. There, I made a decision. I asked for Muntaha and her younger sister for my two brothers. Both my brothers are doctors. I told them my decision, and they immediately accepted it. Tears started flowing from Muntaha's parents' eyes, but this time these tears were of joy. In the end, I say with folded hands, you are marrying a woman, not a fairy. For God's sake, before rejecting someone's daughter, think of her as your own daughter. If decisions are based on flaws, then twice as many boys as girls should be rejected. Anyone can debate with me on any platform in the world, I will prove that men have more flaws than women. You cover the flaws of Allah's creation, Allah will cover your flaws. Remember, your one merciless rejection can take someone to a living grave.

*Now I would like to ask every father whom Allah has blessed with the blessing of a daughter,* have you ever thought that if the girl you reject after assessing her in one glance was your own daughter, would your decision be the same? Do you remember the day when you first took your daughter in your lap? Did you think on that day that one day a stranger would come, weigh her on the way she holds tea, and declare her whole being unsuitable in a few moments? Is the daughter's height, complexion, age, voice, or silence really such a big thing that her education, her character, her nobility, and her intention all fall behind? Would you tolerate it for your daughter if someone rejected her by calling her less subservient? Or say that she is possessed by jinn? Or taunt her about her age and show favor? Can you hear someone say to your daughter: If you are very helpless, then we can accept you with a man the age of your father? Think, are these decisions relationships or certificates of humiliation? Do we really need a daughter-in-law who is not a human being, but a complete, flawless statue? Does marriage not take place between human beings? And if flaws are the standard, then have we ever weighed the flaws of our sons on the same scale? Have we looked at their morals, temperament, honor, responsibility, and intention with the same precision? Have we ever thought about what happens in a house after our one refusal? What happens to a mother's heart? And what questions are born in a daughter's mind? Do we know that these same questions, these same sentences, these same rejections have made it easier for many girls to die than to live? Remember, relationships are made by Allah, the Lord of Glory, not you. You can reject someone's daughter, but you cannot decide her fate. The one whom Allah has written for someone, does not break because of your standards, ego, and excuses, and the one whom He has not written, even your thousand yeses cannot connect her. Therefore, do not consider yourself God while looking at relationships. Do not point a finger at someone's daughter's fate, because you are not the one who writes fate. Before finding flaws, think about why Allah has covered your flaws. Accepting a relationship is your right, but breaking someone's honor is a sin. Remember, a mother's sigh does not take long to reach the heavens.

May Allah Almighty always keep the Muslim Ummah happy and prosperous, and grant them the ability to understand Islam. Ameen, O Lord of the Worlds, for the sake of the Holy Prophet ﷺ.

*✍️Student of Al-Jamiatul Ashrafia✍️*