*Nameless relationships but of great use*
✍🏻 *Muhammad Adil Arriyawi*
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Life is also a strange collection of relationships. Here, sometimes strangers show more belonging than our own, and sometimes those people whom we consider the most precious asset of our life, bring us to a point where a person starts to fear their own emotions. Sometimes a small kindness from a stranger makes a place in the heart for a lifetime, and sometimes the indifference of a loved one turns years of connection into a stranger in moments.
We meet countless people in our lives. Some are companions for a few moments, some for a few days, some stay for years, but among all these, there are some relationships that have no name. They have no blood relation, no family connection, no worldly purpose, but when life faces a trial, these nameless relationships come to such use that a person cannot forget their favor and sincerity for a lifetime.
Let's understand this reality through a personal observation.
Last year at Madrasa Shahi, Moradabad, an accident happened to a companion of the Hadith course, resulting in a broken leg. He belonged to Kishanganj district. His parents, brothers, and other family members were at home and had no information about this accident. After the accident, companions admitted him to the hospital. Companions kept coming and going, and I also stayed with him in the hospital for two days.
His condition was critical. There was a severe lack of blood in his body and he needed blood immediately. As soon as the companions learned of this need, hands were raised for help from all sides. I saw with my own eyes that about thirty companions got their blood tested. Whoever's blood matched his, donated blood without any hesitation.
Imagine this scene: a hospital room, a companion struggling between life and death on a bed, and on the other side, thirty young men standing ready to save his life by giving their own blood. No one asked what he had done for us? No one thought how he would be of use to us tomorrow? No one put a price on their blood, no one demanded any compensation. There was only one passion: our companion is in pain, we must be of use to him.
Neither there was any blood relation between them, nor any family connection, nor any kind of worldly interest; just the relationship of studying together in an institution, sitting together, and spending time.
All the companions served him together; someone would sit with him, someone would fulfill needs, someone would arrange blood, and someone would remain concerned for his recovery. Many teachers also provided financial support. Everyone was busy helping according to their capacity. Finally, his health improved, then his family was informed of the accident, and Alhamdulillah, after some time, he recovered completely.
Today also when this incident is remembered, the heart faces a strange state. I think, what relationship was this that persuaded thirty young men to give their blood? What kind of connection was this in which there was no desire for reward? What kind of love was this in which there was no hope for anything in return?
Perhaps this is humanity, this is brotherhood, and these are the nameless relationships that give a person a lesson of love for a lifetime.
Truly, it is not necessary for every relationship to have a name; some relationships are nameless, but when the time comes, they give such proof of their existence that they are remembered for a lifetime.
But alas, the other side of life is completely different. Here there are also some relationships that we give names to, to which we give a special place in our lives, whom we trust blindly, for whom we sacrifice our time, emotions, and feelings, but one day those same relationships give us such agony that we never even imagined.
Some people come into our lives, talk big, show such dreams of love and belonging that we start considering them an essential part of our lives. They repeatedly make us feel that you are very special to us, no one can take your place, we will never leave you. Believing their words, we open the doors of our hearts, associate our happiness with them, and make many decisions of our lives subject to their attitudes.
But then suddenly time changes, tones change, priorities change, and the same person who once made promises to stay together, leaves us alone one day and goes with someone else. He probably doesn't even realize how much of a calamity his decision of a few moments has brought upon another human being.
He moves on in his life, starts laughing and talking with someone else, gets lost in new activities and new people, but the person left behind gets buried under the rubble of his own questions. Sometimes cries remembering old things, sometimes writhes thinking of past moments, and sometimes asks himself, what was my mistake after all? On what did I trust so much? Why did I give someone so much space in my life that today their indifference is swallowing my peace?
Sometimes a person's heart wishes that if only he had never met that person, if only he hadn't trusted their words, if only he hadn't given them that place in his heart from where after their departure only emptiness, regret, and agony remain.
This is a reality that a wound on the body is visible, its treatment is also possible, but some wounds on the heart are such that a person keeps hiding them from the world. Keeps a smile on the face, laughs and talks among people, appears to live his normal life, but in solitude, a storm rages within him of which no one has any news.
Remember, a person's words are not ordinary. One sentence can give a broken person the courage to live, and one sentence can tear apart the heart of a laughing, smiling person. Playing with someone's emotions, giving them hopes, and then heartlessly leaving them alone is no small matter. To you, your attitude might not matter, but it is possible that your one indifference changes someone else's whole world.
That's why think a hundred times before giving someone a place in your life. Do trust someone, but not so much that their infidelity makes you fall in your own eyes. Do love, but not by sacrificing your self-respect. Do keep hopes from someone, but do not put the happiness of your entire life in the hands of one person.
And if you cannot maintain a relationship with someone, then at least do not give them false hopes. Do not make someone's emotions a means of passing your time. Do not put someone on the sky with your words and then throw them on the ground with your attitude. For you, it might be a matter of a few moments, but for the other person, it can become a lifelong sorrow.
I just want to say that the reality of relationships is known not by their name, but by their fulfillment. Some nameless people save lives by giving their blood, and some named people break a living human being from inside with their attitudes.
Making someone your own is easy, but protecting their feelings is a huge responsibility. Therefore, if you make a place in someone's heart, do not make it desolate; if you give someone hope, do not leave them helpless; and if you have a relationship with someone, do not limit it only to your own purpose.
Because a person can forget many things in life, but he never forgets those who held his hand in difficult times, nor can he easily forget the wounds given by those whom he once considered his own.
Some people stay together for a lifetime without naming the relationship, and some relationships, despite having a name, give only lifelong regret.
May Allah Almighty grant beautiful patience. Ameen, O Lord of the worlds.