Shaadi is not just the name of an event, but it is the beginning of a "Hijrat-e-Hayat" (Migration of Life) for a girl, where the memories of childhood courtyards, the pampering of her mother's house, and the universe scattered in every corner of it, are compressed into a bag. This is a journey from "Mera Ghar" (My Home) to "Un Ka Ghar" (Their Home), where she has to adopt a completely new world. It is the responsibility of every sensible person to realize this psychological burden.
The Holy Quran has declared this relationship to be a "Wahi-e-Sukoon" (Revelation of Peace) based on "Mohabbat aur Rehmat" (Love and Mercy) (Surah Ar-Rum: 21), not a forced pledge of sacrifice from one party.
It is a tragedy that a section of our society imposes such outdated restrictions on this beautiful bond, the command of which is contrary to the Sharia. Marriage is with the girl, but she is expected to silently accept the decisions of the whole family, as if she has no existence, no hobbies, or no opinion of her own. Confining her within four walls, making her dependent on others for her legitimate needs, or imposing undue restrictions on her meeting her own relatives, are all behaviors that are contrary to the teachings of Islam.
The life of the Azwaj-e-Mutahharat (wives of the Prophet) is the best example for us. The Prophet ﷺ raced with Hazrat Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) (right to recreation), Hazrat Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) did business (economic freedom), and all the wives were engaged in promoting the knowledge of religion (social activity). Islam did not make woman a prisoner, but gave her the full right to live with dignity and protection.
Another major disease of the society is that if a husband fulfills the rights of his wife, fulfills her legitimate desires, or helps her in household chores, he is taunted with the title of "Joru Ka Ghulam" (Wife's Slave). While the Prophet of Allah ﷺ himself mended his shoes, sewed clothes, and helped his family members (Musnad Ahmad).You ﷺ said: "The best of you is the one who is best for his family."
The reality is that the relationship of marriage is the name of a "Khushgawar Samjhote" (Pleasant Agreement), where balance is the guarantee of peace. On the one hand, if the in-laws give the daughter-in-law the status of a daughter, give her time to adjust, and respect her freedom; on the other hand, it is also the duty of the girl to consider the in-laws as her own home, respect the environment there, and try to win everyone's heart with love.
Marriage is not a prison, nor is it a journey of oppression. If understanding, love, and Sharia limits are taken care of from both sides, then this Hijrat (migration) can become the beginning of a new paradise.
Malhooz:
In today's environment, on the growing trend of women's employment (job), where the Ulema (religious scholars) discourage unnecessary employment, the life of Syeda Khadija Al-Kubra (may Allah be pleased with her) is a beacon for us. You (RA) was a successful businesswoman, but after marriage, you (RA) set priorities, dedicated your wealth to the religion, and dedicated yourself to taking care of the house and nurturing the new generation. Islam has made the sustenance of a woman the responsibility of the father, brother, or husband so that she can fulfill her original role in a better way by being free from economic burden. Although nowadays many women prefer employment for desires instead of needs, financial autonomy, or a better lifestyle, which leads to problems such as mixed environment, lack of contentment, negligence in domestic responsibilities, and deterioration in the family system (increasing trend of divorce). Therefore, if it is necessary to do a job under extreme necessity, it should be done within the Sharia limits (hijab, non-mixed environment) and without affecting domestic responsibilities. The real success lies in adopting contentment and fulfilling the role assigned by Allah, so that the society can be protected from deterioration.
From the pen of Za Sheikh